In The Messy Podcast
Welcome to In the Messy. In The Messy (in-ti-macy) is more than a play on words — it’s a podcast for people who want to heal their relationships from the inside out.
Hosted by Janette Chu, a Registered Psychotherapist (RP), this podcast explores the real, raw, and often messy parts of being human. Whether you're navigating anxiety, attachment wounds, relational conflict, or parenting struggles, you’ll find grounded insights, compassionate guidance, and practical tools rooted in therapy.
Each episode offers support for individuals, couples, and families—drawing from evidence-based approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and more. Together, we’ll explore how your past may be shaping your present, how to move through disconnection with care, and how to build deeper, more secure relationships—with yourself and with the people who matter most.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just bring your willingness to be honest, curious, and kind to yourself. Healing doesn’t mean perfection—it means presence.
Subscribe and join me in the messy work of becoming more whole, more connected, and more integrated.
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Stop Arguing About the Details: How to Find the Real Issue in Conflict
When emotions run high, our brains naturally focus on the surface details of conflict. We become fixated on criticism, defensiveness, silence, facial expressions, or past mistakes. But beneath most relationship arguments lies a deeper need: a desire for connection, reassurance, support, safety, understanding, or emotional closeness.
Drawing from attachment theory, emotionally focused therapy (EFT), and years of clinical experience, Jan explains how to identify the real target underneath conflict and why doing so can lead to faster repair, deeper understanding, and healthier communication. You'll learn how to recognize when you're getting pulled into the noise, regulate your nervous system, connect with your secure self, communicate your needs clearly, and repair conflict in a way that strengthens your relationships.
Religious Trauma Through the Lens of Attachment Theory
In this episode of In The Messy Podcast, Jan explores religious trauma through the lens of attachment theory, nervous system safety, shame, belonging, and the secure self. This conversation is not about attacking religion or telling you what to believe. Instead, it’s about understanding what happens internally when faith, family, fear, obedience, and love become deeply intertwined.
Jan unpacks how attachment wounds can shape our relationship with religion, authority, boundaries, and even our sense of self. If questioning your beliefs feels terrifying, if setting boundaries with family brings overwhelming guilt, or if you’ve struggled with the fear of losing love and belonging by becoming your authentic self, this episode offers compassion, insight, and practical reflection.